Muggle Magic
by Story Please
Summary: As Muggle things find their way into the Wizarding World, there are those who welcome change while others are certain that Muggle technology will rot the brains of anyone who uses it. Beta love to FragileReality, Sekdaniels, CorvusDraconis! You guys are lovely!


Author's Note: Written for Round 7 of the QLFC

Team: Pride of Portree

Position: Captain

Captain Prompt: Write about the conflict within wizarding society, between those who want to study Muggle technology in order to understand it better and those who think it's a bunch of garbage.

Word Count (excluding Author's Note): 2,028

* * *

 **Muggle Magic**

"Face it, son! Muggle technology is a load of bollocks!" Lucius Malfoy's face was practically scarlet with fury.

"Father, I know it seems ridiculous—" Draco started.

"Ridiculous? _Ridiculous_?! It's not ridiculous! It's utterly _daft_ is what it is!" With one smooth motion, Lucius slapped the device out of his son's hand.

With a horrible clattering sound, the gray plastic object hit the ground and Draco dove after it immediately.

"It'll rot your brains, boy!" Lucius said, turning and stomping off before his son could continue assaulting his ears with his inane drivel. "Game Boy, indeed! It's Muggle brainwashing, and I'll never allow it in my house!"

"Shows what you know, Father!" Draco sneered up from the floor. "There are plenty of useful Muggle objects! You're just too closed-minded to see how useful they are!"

Draco inspected the object in his hands. Luckily, the Muggle device appeared no worse for the wear, though Draco did have to pull the cartridge out and blow on it before putting it back in. As far as rituals went, it was a fairly simple one, and he smiled as he flicked on the power switch. He was going to beat the water level this time, and there was nothing his father could do to stop him.

* * *

For some time, there had been worried whispers amongst the pureblooded families as more and more of their children learned about the dark ways of the unwashed masses. An affliction known as Mugglemania had been born not long after the fall of Voldemort. It became both trendy and politically favorable to embrace Muggle technology and styles. Clothing had been the most obvious one, as wizarding fashion hadn't changed much for more than a century. Even witches were embracing the comfort of denim and Doc Martins, much to the scandalized heads of pureblooded households. Short hairstyles on both witches and wizards grew common as the youth threw off the tradition of their forefathers and reveled in what it meant to be different. It had become something of an insult to wear traditional robes— after all, Voldemort was known to wear traditional wizarding apparel, while Harry Potter, savior of the Wizarding World, had defeated the Dark Lord's forces wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

With the rise in popularity of Muggle clothing styles, other types of Muggle technology also became more and more popular. From radios to televisions, many young folks couldn't get enough. Draco and Blaise had actually rented their own flat in Muggle London just so they could get the local Muggle rugby matches on the telly. Lucius Malfoy was beside himself with fury when he realized that his son was living amongst actual Muggles. At first, he refused to visit altogether, but Narcissa eventually dragged him along, and he'd pouted on the lumpy couch the entire evening. Though he tried not to show his interest in the various things that Draco had available— "appliances," he called them—he had to admit that he was rather impressed with the thing Draco referred to as a "microwave." Then, when Blaise turned on the telly to check the score on the local football match, Lucius was rapidly sucked into the action and had to be dragged out of the apartment by Narcissa at the end of the night.

Lucius Malfoy was a proud man, but he was _not_ an idiot. Even he could eat his own words if it meant turning a profit and gaining a valuable asset. This Muggle television thing was just what the Wizarding World needed; he merely needed to convince the right people of its amazing capabilities.

Lucius was a man on a mission. He convinced a few heads in the Wizengamot that Arthur Weasley should contact the local Muggle power company and see what it would take to wire magical homes with electricity. Then, he swallowed his pride and asked his son to reach out to a few Muggleborn witches and wizards who had gone on to work at the BBC about what went into developing and distributing a television program. Augusta Longbottom scoffed at Lucius' plans, as the Wizarding Wireless and letters by owl had always been just fine for her, thank you very much, but many more stood on the fence. In fact, Amos Diggory, who by all rights should have disagreed with Lucius Malfoy and his scheming, had come out in favor of the idea of Wizarding television as well.

Once Arthur and his officemates had created a working prototype of an electric wiring diagram, they tested it out on a small hut in Hogsmeade. They simply charmed the wiring into the walls using the same spells used to add plumbing fixtures to older Wizarding homes not originally equipped with the proper facilities.

"Eureka!" Lucius shouted as the electric bulbs flared and held steady. He and Arthur danced merrily around the middle of the room in a happy circle, and soon after, the entire team retired to the Three Broomsticks for several rounds on him.

Meanwhile, the Prophet, with Rita Skeeter at the helm, was screeching for Lucius' resignation. According to their articles, he'd been "brainwashed" by Muggles, and some even speculated that he was being paid off by the Muggle Minister himself!

Lucius paid them no mind. There was no evidence that any of their wild claims were true in the least. Besides, he happened to know that Rita's fearmongering was simply a ploy to stop television from being introduced to the Wizarding World. After all, if one could merely turn on the nightly news with a flick of a switch, it was all but certain that subscriptions to the Prophet could plummet as interest in printed news waned. Muggle newscasters tended to have comforting voices, and most were at least somewhat attractive. Anyone could see that Skeeter was anything but easy on the eyes, and her shrill, buzzing voice was anything but comforting.

The remains of the Black family remained coolly neutral on the front of technology. Andromeda Tonks was no stranger to most of it, seeing as her husband was Muggleborn himself, but Narcissa still regarded the electric lighting with distrust once it had been installed in Malfoy Manor. She'd also nearly shocked herself by poking her fingers in the outlet out of curiosity. Lucius, who had done something similar at Draco's apartment with a fork, (much to his deep regret), luckily caught her in time.

When all preparations had been made, Lucius realized that he needed more money. And so, he spent the latter part of the next three months bringing entourages of moneyed purebloods to Draco's flat to watch the football matches. Though Draco grumbled incessantly about his meddling, he grumbled much more quietly after Lucius bought him a big screen television that nearly filled up one wall of the flat. Lucius also walked them through the kitchen, showing off the appliances like an expert. For these excursions, he always tied his silvery blond hair back in a ponytail. After getting it tangled in the beaters of the standing mixer, he knew better than to underestimate Muggle things.

In the end, his persistence paid off in spades. Lucius got his money to invest in the WBC (Wizarding Broadcasting Channel), and Draco became one of his producers. He also poached several staff writers from the Prophet for his news programme. Arthur came up with a dead useful runic video camera that auto-stabilized while being used. The camera operator merely needed to apply a Sticking Charm and fly off on their broom, giving viewers front row action at all the Quidditch games.

Still, there were those who adamantly pooh-poohed these enhancements to Wizarding society, calling them "unnatural" and even "criminal." There was even an investigation into whether or not Lucius had inadvertently violated the Statute of Secrecy by blatantly taking so many Muggle things and adapting them to wizarding needs. In the end, though, nothing came of it. Lucius had been intelligent enough to have his solicitor read through the laws on the subject at the beginning. The dissenters didn't have a leg to stand on as far as the law went. Besides, after making a killing with the WBC, Lucius had enough money to buy off dissenters at the Prophet with a hefty donation to their office renovation fund. In no time, Rita was back writing bogus hack articles about sightings of the Boy-Who-Lived running about in a chicken costume and clucking at people.

Mugglemania settled down a bit once everyone finally got their electricity and televisions sorted out. There was still the odd wizard that thought that a floral nightdress was haute couture, but by and large, most wizards and witches had learned that Muggle attire had its merits as well. As for Lucius, the pureblood who'd sworn by his robes and had violently eschewed anything Muggle, he found himself lounging about in fleece pajamas and fluffy bunny slippers one lazy Sunday morning as he tuned out the droning chatter of a Wizarding cooking show on the telly in the foyer. He sat back in his chair, sipping his morning tea, and sighed.

"This is the life," Lucius mused.

"Good morning, Father!" Draco said brightly, appearing through the back kitchen door with an excited look on his face. "Just wait until I show you this genius Muggle device I've found!"

Lucius set his tea down, trying his best not to look excited. After all, if Draco thought it was genius, there was a fairly good chance that he was telling the truth.

"What is it?" he asked, looking at the box with a puzzled look.

"You attach it to your lights," Draco said, excitedly. "You clap once and it turns the light on. When you clap again, it turns the light off."

"Brilliant! But...what is this?" Lucius said, pointing at something on the box.

Draco frowned. "Oh, that. _As Seen On TV_. It's part of the daytime television block. People pay the television company to sell products by demonstrating them for a half hour or so on the telly."

"Then what?" Lucius was on the edge of his seat with anticipation.

Draco shrugged. "Then you call in the number on the telephone and give them your money for the product."

Lucius grinned at this. "What geniuses those Muggles be. And you as well, Draco, for sharing such cleverness with me," he said, bastardizing Shakespeare and making his only son blush with pride in one fell swoop. "It will be repurposed, of course— _improved_ for Wizard-kind, but there is no shame in building on a solid foundation."

"Father?" Draco's tone of voice was a bit petulant, but Lucius was feeling generous.

"Yes?"

"Those...slippers...they're awfully...cute," Draco finally managed, his cheeks colouring with embarrassment.

"I shall have a pair sent to your flat," Lucius replied with a smirk, deciding not to tease his son. After all, Draco was correct. They were very cute slippers—the very cutest, in fact. Lucius had made sure of that. Malfoys were known for getting the very best of everything, and Muggle products were no exception.

With his Muggle-inspired technological improvements underway, the Wizarding World was slowly but surely stumbling its way into the twentieth century. Lucius, however, knew that this was only the beginning.

"Maybe vibrating bunny slippers, next," he mused to himself. "I know just the charm to try, too."

"You'd better be careful, Father," Draco mock-chastised, as his father changed the channel— after all, his favorite vampire soap opera was about to start. "Aren't you afraid that all of this Muggle technology might rot your brain?"

"Perhaps," Lucius sighed happily, "but if that is the case, then it is the happiest rotten brain I've ever had the pleasure to experience."

Draco left, shaking his head and smiling at his father's abrupt change of heart. Still, it was much better than the anti-Muggle froth he'd worked himself into only a few months earlier. Draco checked his digital watch and smiled with anticipation as he readied himself to Apparate. He had to get home. Super Mario World was waiting for him, and he'd promised Blaise that they were finally going to beat Star Road together _without_ that blasted magic flute.


End file.
